Friday, March 26, 2004

Don't Know About the Terrorist Alert Color Code, but the Slime Alert is at Red

CNN is reporting that, all of the sudden, the hacks who refer to themselves as the Republican Party suddenly are in favor of open government. They want to declassify Richard Clarke's 2002 Congressional testimony so they can line-by-line it against what he told the 9/11 committee. Here's what Dennis Hastert said:

"We need to lean forward in making as much information available to the public as possible, without compromising the national security interests of the nation."

Yes, we need to do that Dennis. Let's start with any material in the files at the White House. Oh, and while we're there, is is possible that you could dig up the phone records back when Valerie Plame's name was leaked to Bob Novak?

Bill Frist, who has earned himself a special place in hell for killing cats, proffered the following--no word on whether he added a "hrrumph" at the end:

"Mr. Clarke has told two entirely different stories under oath."

Is that why CONDI won't be sworn? Although I see that she's ready to, uh---clarify (yeah, that's the ticket)--CLARIFY her position once again ("What I MEANT to say...").

Oh, and Mr. Frist, while you're comparing stuff, let's talk about the cost of the Medicare drug subsidy you're offering the pharmaceutical companies. Was that $395 Billion, or $534 Billion? Or was it $551 Billion? Mr. Frist, recall you're under oath...

Meanwhile, things are going so well in Iraq that that a firefight killed a number of our auxiliaries, as well as a US Marine and an ABC cameraman, near Tikrit. Then we have Moqtada al-Sadr, a powerful cleric in Baghdad, calling 9/11 "a miracle from God," , while Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani makes it clear that he has no use for the new Iraqi constitution. And just to make sure we haven't left anyone out, Ayman Al-Zawahiri is letting us know that the War on Terror is succeeding in South Asia as well: having "escaped" from the hideout that he most likely wasn't hiding out in anyway, he released a tape calling for the overthrow of General Musharraf in Pakistan. They must really be getting desperate...

I keep waiting to hear Bush say he's doing as well in the war on terror as he is with the economy. Technically, that would be true. Just don't make him say take an oath...

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