Just Like Mom Used to Make

Just got back from setting up a printer for a couple of workstations that the Commissioner's Office wanted over at the Capitol Building--and I took a brief side trip up to the observation deck on not quite the top floor (Louisiana's Capitol Building, for those who've not been down to the Gret Stet, is a Huey Long-era mini-tower, sometimes referred to as "Huey's erection").

I got back to find an email from my sister which directed me this page over at The Onion:

By Josh Modell, Noel Murray & Tasha Robinson
The shelves of America's dollar stores are packed with off-brand foodstuffs from netherworlds where Nabisco and Frito-Lay exist only as rumor. These weird little consumables sport odd names, curious mascots, unusual cooking suggestions, and flavor combinations that no sane laboratory chef could concoct. But how do they taste? The writers at The Onion A.V. Club recently emptied their coin purses and embarked on a quest for budget-friendly snacks.

Here's one example:

Treet
The tin says it all, though not succinctly: "Luncheon loaf with chicken, pork added. Smoke flavoring added." Basically, it's off-brand Spam, but with chicken in addition to the usual meat byproducts. Inside the tin is a greasy brick of mottled pink material. Science has been unable to determine anything further about Treet.
Scariest-sounding ingredient: "Food starch-modified."
Worth the price? If only for the recipe on the back of the can, which teaches the unutterably incompetent how to make a Treet sandwich by layering bread, cheese, sauerkraut, and mayonnaise in a strictly prescribed order.

If you still have the stomach for it, click on the link above for the rest...