Yeah, it's a couple days late (or maybe not--aren't there 12 days of Christmas?). But here are a couple of heartwarming--ok, bloodcurdling--tales of Yule, courtesy of Attaturk and John Chuckman...um, maybe you don't want to read them to the kids.
Chuckman:
Within in a few hours, the beating sound of a black helicopter approached Santa and Prancer. The elf, from his hiding place in a snowdrift, could only make out intermittent sounds across the howling coldness, but it seems armed men emerged from the helicopter, shot Prancer and shackled Santa, shoving him into the dark, beating machine. The elf heard a word that sounded like Guantanamo and Santa has not been heard from since. Reports of his fate reached the International Red Cross and organizations like Amnesty International, leading to inquiries, but these have been met only with silence from American authorities.
Attaturk:
Frosty the Snowman melting into a puddle of water is so pre 9/11...
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