Ah, Compromise


Congressional Republicans reached a deal with Bush on torturing interrogating "suspected terrorists."

In a related story, factory-raised Congressional Chickens reached a deal with Col. Shrub on preservation of dignity during, um, you know, "the process:"

Chicken John McCain (R-Ariz.)...who led the Senate rebellion...said, "The agreement that we've entered into gives Col. Shrub the tools that he needs to protect the entire flock, which is his sole interest." But he added: "There is no doubt that the integrity and letter and spirit of the process has been preserved."

"After all," he continued, "Just because our destiny is, well, sort of preordained, it doesn't mean we have to surrender all dignity and run around like, um, you know, our head's been cut off--even if it HAS been cut off. Besides, we've received assurances from the Colonel that he'll do his utmost to keep that to a minimum.

It's expected the agreement will include a signing statement that makes oblique reference to "eleven herbs and spices," although spokesperson Tony Snow insisted that these ingredients were matters of "utmost national security" and therefore could not be revealed to the general public.

Graphic inspired by PGR.