Charles Manson Joins GOP, Bush Considers Sentence Commutation
Washington, DC and Corcoran, CA--Refusing to "rule out" a full pardon, President Bush indicated he's considering commuting the prison sentence of Charles Manson, recent GOP convert rumored to be the front-runner for Chief-of-Staff to Vice-President Cheney.
It's said that Manson and Cheney have developed a strong bond of late, based on mutual appreciation and common aspects of personal taste.
Writing on behalf of Manson, David Brooks insisted that it was "exactly right," and pointed out that while "Helter Skelter" was certainly a "terrible tragedy, the fact was that it all started, as these dark comedies are wont to do, with a strutting little peacock with the unimaginative name of Roman Polanski, who's a child molester anyway, and besides, Manson himself neither pulled the trigger nor thrust the knife blade...and it's been such a long time that you could argue there really was no underlying crime..., etc. etc. etc."
Bush himself said that he "respects the jury's verdict;" however, he's said to think that commutation is appropriate because it "leaves in place a harsh punishment for Mr. Manson...The consequences of his felony conviction on his former life...will be long long-lasting." Mr. Bush also expressed his concern for "Mr. Manson's family."
When told of the development, Vice-President Cheney withheld comment, but visibly smiled.
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