Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Acquisitions and Mergers


A news conference has been scheduled by Satan where it's expected he will officially announce the acquisition of William F. Buckley, Jr.'s soul for all eternity.

An initial agreement had been made some half a century ago or more, but the ultimate deadline was reached only this morning.

While no specific circle has been named, speculation is that Buckley will be assigned to the eighth, perhaps in Bolgia 4, reserved for sorcerers and false prophets. It's expected there will be an additional announcement once Bill's head is twisted backwards on his body, permitting him to see only in the past and not the future.

In other Satan-related news, the European Union fined Microsoft a record $1.3 billion dollars.

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