Asscrossed Declares Victory, Goes Home

The New York Times reports on the newly resigned A.G.:

The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved

Hmmm--who'd've thunk that the objective could be achieved without capturing bin Laden? Or dealing with Al Qaeda in any meaningful way? Geez, if this is victory, what would Asscrossed call defeat?

Oh, wait, that's right--he'd call it "Clinton's fault."

Well, I for one would consider it fitting if Dubya stepped up to the plate and nominated his brother Neil to take the top position at Justice. Neil seems to have a working knowledge of certain legal proceedings. And the whole yin-yang element might be ironic. Mr. Minister of Morality is replaced by Mr. "Hey, where-can-I-score-a-teenage-Thai-chick-and-an-eight-ball?"

But I dunno--maybe the objective DOESN'T require Osama--sort of a "compassionate conservative" victory...there are no losers in the war on terror...well, except for Fallujah.

Fallujans will receive a parting gift of mostly depleted uranium and lead--and a thank you for participating...even if they really didn't want to.