A Modest Proposal

Greg at The Talent Show suggests the following as he notes a new "video game" called America's Army (link):

If they really want this game to accurately reflect the military experience, they should have the game completely take over the computer so the player can't check email, browse the web, do any work, etc. for as long as the game is in progress. Every day the player must complete a mission, regardless of what else is going on in their "real" life. The game continues like this for six to nine months or so, after which the game is in "reserve" mode and may restart itself at any time. If the player dies in the game, their harddrive is reformatted. If the player is only maimed, the screen shows nothing but a static photo from the inside of a military hospital for a few weeks and a few random keys on the keyboard stop functioning completely. Sounds pretty shitty, huh? Well, so is getting shipped off to war.

Sounds good to me, with one more suggestion: if you can figure out how to hack the game and go into "chickenhawk" mode, you can do any of the following:

Run off to Alabama, trash the house you're renting, show up at noon to not work on a campaign, get your teeth cleaned at a military facility--and claim thirty years later that you "served honorably."

Use any of the following excuses to avoid combat:

Pilonidal Cyst
Graduate School
Bum Knee
"Other Priorities"
"Minorities Volunteering in Large Numbers"
"I've got to feed my family."

Ah, what the hell--ANY of these excuses will work, too.

However, if you don't have political connections, forget it. Chickenhawk mode isn't for everyone...