Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Below the Fold

In a grim version of what I guess counts as "the show must go on," Bubble Shrub ranted and gesticulated before an audience guaranteed to, at the very least, not gawk too much at the train wreck calling itself an administration. Coupled with the wreck, the rant, and--haven't seen any video footage, so I'm assuming the usual displays that I'll charitably call typically spastic Shrub movements--is this .pdf "strategy" outline--which, upon first glance, looks more like simply a geared-up version of Shrub's "speechifyin"--in other words, cheerleading at the secondary level. Texas souffle gone national.

Which is probably why such an act of wanton grandstanding has thus far received a decidedly underwhelming response...sort of like the last half dozen or so times an increasingly Desperate Dubya has delivered "a major policy address" on Iraq...all of which have turned out to be neither major nor policy, but instead, cheerleading. Which isn't all that surprising, considering Shrub's almost unique lack of qualifications for high office.

WIIIAI claimed to watch the speech so we won't have to--and, "Oh God, Make it Stop" is probably as valid a sentiment as any:

Actually, after listening to it, I’m not sure I heard any actual strategy. He did repeatedly refer to it as a “clear strategy,” so it may be see-through, which would explain a lot.

He also called it a national strategy, but he didn’t say which nation, and for most of the speech American troops were also see-through, invisible. Mostly he spoke about Iraqis. Good Iraqis, and bad Iraqis. The good ones have all joined the Iraqi army or police, all for altruistic reasons of course, no death squads here, and they are standing up so... well, you know the rest. They’re being trained and increasing in numbers and in every day in every way they’re getting better and better.

For the bad Iraqis, who Rumsfeld says we’re no longer allowed to call insurgents, Bush created a handy taxonomy, applying labels that are in no way useful in assisting understanding and which bear little resemblance to the actual people involved. They consist, he says, of Rejectionists, Saddamists & terrorists. Rejectionist, which sounds like a label Stalin might have used for his ideological opponents or kulaks or something, actually means Sunni. Evidently we’re going to “marginalize” these Rejectionists, he said it several times, but I don’t know what that actually means. I suspect he doesn’t either. Saddamists (shouldn’t it be Husseinistas?) are just a few guys, also Sunnis, and will also be marginalized or turned into margarine or something. Terrorists are defined as “affiliated with or inspired by Al Qaeda,” and Bush emphasized the foreigners among them; they’re like outside agitators and “These terrorists have nothing to offer the Iraqi people.”

Bush twice refers to violence as media events (“the suicide bombings and the beheadings and the other atrocities we see on our television” and “creat[ing] chaos for the cameras”), as if the terrorists were run by an Arab Karl Rove.

I fell into a hypnotic state after a while, but I could swear he made fun of Democrats for saying that his only plan is to “stay the course,” like they just made up the phrase themselves.

Anyway, if you were wondering what our mission in Iraq is, “Our mission in Iraq is to win the war - our troops will return home when that mission is complete.” As opposed to when the mission is accomplished, which was a couple of years ago.

And then it was over, leaving us all re-energized and re-dedicated to whatever it was he was talking about.


Well, I guess I'll probably tune into a repeat at some point, despite the WIIIAI's admirable feat of endurance--within reason, I allow myself to gawk now and again. But if anyone leaning toward wingnut interpretation of world events somehow thinks Shrub's speech will somehow cause events in Iraq "round the corner," (or, for the more cynical of the 'nut variety, merely rejuvenate the boy pResident's domestic profile) they're in for a rude shock. Events in Iraq are beyond Shrub's immediate control...well, unless he decides to take the ultimate low road and begins carpet bombing the place. But that carries it's own drawback: doing so will make Saddam Hussein look like a piker in terms of human rights records. Or, we can "stay the course," which means an Army slowly being bled dry, billions of dollars more scattered in the sand...and eventually the same outcome we're already facing: an Islamic theocracy.

Enjoy your legacy, Shrub.

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