Fox News: "Now, Let's Go to Zell"

Link via Roger Ailes. The Washington Post reports that Zell Miller will be able to challenge all sorts of people to duels:

Sen. Zell Miller, the fire-and-brimstone-preaching Dixiecrat who tried to challenge MSNBC's Chris Matthews to a duel after delivering the keynote speech at the Republican National Convention, has been welcomed with open arms by Fox News Channel.

Honest, when I saw the paragraph above, I thought at first it said "Pixiecrat," which, on further reflection, seems as good a descriptor as anything. Zell and his magic fairy-dust riding high in the saddle, battling terrorists as only he can: by hollering at Chris Matthews.

Kevin Magee, FNC's vice president of programming, told The TV Column, "We will plug him in wherever we can use him."

Ailes thinks that could mean use as Bill O'Falafel's vibrator. I'm a little more tame: How about simply calling Miller's on-air time the "Tenth Circle of Zell?"

In my mind, the Tenth Circle is reserved for GOP hacks who must spend eternity dealing with "clean campaign" laws like public financing, genuine debate, no recourse to ridiculous non-issues like flag burning or constitutional amendments that discriminate against gays, no Willie Horton ads--and, since there's no military, so there's no way you can accuse anyone of being "weak on defense."

I'll bet Lee Atwater is screaming.