Common Ground

You wouldn't think John and Michael Bolton shared anything in common--but The Editors found a couple of similarities (hint: think hairstyles and attitudes). The Poorman concludes:

Verdict: in order to save ’60s soul music and the United Nations, President Bush should appoint Michael Bolton Ambassador to the UN, and, by executive order, appoint John Bolton to fulfill the remainder of Michael’s contract with Columbia. Although he is not “bound by laws prohibiting torture,” according to his current Attorney General, we request that the President not have either Bolton sing any songs written by the previous Attorney General John Ashcroft.