More than once, though I don't feel like rumaging through my archives, I've noted that Team Shrub fundamentally can't distinguish between leading and cheerleading...not that I have anything against cheerleaders, mind you: I like looking at pretty female cheerleaders as much as anyone, and in fact am quite impressed by their athleticism/gymnastic talents...but I'm digressing again. The point is that the GOP twitnuts in Congress have followed the Shrub/Rovian lead with their, well, latest masturbatory stunt--a pathetic infusion of greenhouse gases into the public sphere, and, adding insult to injury, soon to be chronicled using wasted trees.
While they piously hrumphhed their way through the motions in the august, hallowed halls of Congress before running off to more fundraisers or settling down on leather chairs in paneled salons, reality once again showed its contempt for the overfed, overpaid, waddling sacks of excrement--as if their triumphant "resolution" could somehow retrieve all the unleashed furies and securely lock them back up in Pandora's box.
What a bunch of dumbfucks...minus, of course, those like John Murtha--and, just to show this ISN'T strictly partisan matter for me, Walter Jones.
But, this sort of thing got me thinking--well, angrily thinking--of what OTHER issues our GOP twits believe could be solved by the simple matter of Congressional Resolution...and a few hundred thousand troops.
Why not a cure for cancer? (I'd also suggest AIDS, but this is Congress, after all)
Just equip our fighting men and women with THESE handy-dandy items. Of course, that might take a few decades when you consider how long it took to get them decent body and vehicle armor. Ah, what the hell? Don't even BOTHER with that fancy stuff. They'll cure cancer with M-16's. And if the patient can't handle getting blasted to bits in the course of "the cure," well, that's too bad: because, by their logic, if you DON'T think blasting a cancer patient with an M-16 is a good idea...then I guess you just WANT cancer to win. Which means you're nothing but a supporter of cancer.
Onec they've cured cancer, Congress can pass a resolution declaring our troops will develop the grand, unified theory, resolve the ultimate question of the fate of the universe, establish a precise measure of the Hubble constant...but, of course, also prove that God--OUR God, not the Muslim, Allah one--created the universe in six days, then rested:
And, once THAT'S taken care of, they can FINALLY get around to the whole "how-many-angels-can-dance-on-the-head-of-a-pin question. Here's something they can use for a visual aid:
See, it's all so easy: especially when your reality consists of chauffered, gas-guzzling SUV's, oak-paneled sitting rooms, comfy leather chairs (they think of it as "hard work")...and "resolutions." Easier than falling off a log.
And, gee, it'd sure be nice if THAT could be arranged: especially if the log happened to be straddling a thousand-foot deep gorge.
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